April Ticks By

Needle mark from my second blood test

April ticks by. 

I do not want the month to linger, but I don’t want it to vanish without my noticing; without me having left my mark on this delineated section of time.

I pressure myself to write a blog post and publish it before the month ends. I have to make up for the negativity of my last personal post. It was a downer. That was the truth of the state I was in. But no longer.

Here is my good news: 


  1.  New computer.
  2.  I am no longer battling three infections.

My long awaited, zippy, new computer arrived. I’ve named it Palau. 

I’ve settle on naming devices after all the little extra bits of land that are part of the United Stated but are not states that dot the Pacific Ocean. Because, why not? I was inspired by being so near to the Pacific Ocean and that these devices are extensions of me that are not me. So it seems logical. But I’m sure it’s still only logical to me.


I’m setting it up and will absolutely need to dive into the embarrassment of ‘dongle-land.’ 

The computing devices these days are pushing for smaller components and streamlined shapes so there is no room for cd readers or cables that require large ports to plug in. So you need adapters in order to use older tech. And you have to pay extra for the headache of all these adapters or switching over to all new compatible tech. 

For the dollah dollah bills you have to hand over, why couldn’t they just throw in an adapter for free? Which would be a really nice little gesture for all the headaches being caused.

I think we can all agree that transitioning to solely usb-C at this stage was a Crappy idea. 

{You see what I did there? ‘C’ for ‘Crappy.’ Ha. Ha. Haha. Ha. C’est trop drôle.}

Dongle(s) or not, this machine seems up to tackling what I am about to throw at it. I’ve only really started tinkering with a few little projects. The latest operating system isn’t compatible with all applications that I had been using so there is still more for me to figure out. It takes a little while to settle in, right?

If you read my last personal post, I wrote of a health issue I’ve been dealing with. It was a bleak stretch of uncertainty and depression, but I as this month goes along I am feeling improvements. It only took three long months and a lot of herbal supplements, but I have turned a corner. I am almost back to myself. Or a self that isn’t quite as gummed up.

My last two blood tests have come back negative. The bacteria are under control. Huzzah.

And on a health related note:

Not once in my life did any one ever seriously recommended that I take an iron supplement.

Me, a person who has never been above the poverty line for their entire adult life; me, a person known to faint since I was little; me, a person who has lived through anorexia; me, a person with depression; me, a performer known to be on stage for nine hours stretches; me a person with obvious dry skin!

Why would no one recommend an iron supplement to me?! I don’t understand…

Well, I made the recommendation to myself a week ago. And I am suddenly a functioning entity. It’s like when I put on eyeglasses for the first time. 

I did some research in to it and iron can be a complicated thing to get into the body sometimes.

It is more complicated when you are very fond of coffee and tea. They seemed to be the list toppers of things that screw the bio-availability of iron in other foods. Bio-availability is the ability of a substance to be absorbed and used by the body.

I have managed to go without coffee since January. I am still trying to figure out what tea infusions are ok to drink while I build myself up again.

And then there is chocolate. 

I’m dealing with complicates stomach issues that need to calm down so I am not supposed to eat chocolate- which also can block iron absorption, btw. I dutifully went almost two months without it, but then was jonesing so bad I ended up setting myself back more than once. 

I need to rethink my strategy with chocolate.

Because no one ever prescribed this to me, I will prescribe it to you:

If you are feeling lousy don’t reach for alcohol or caffeine. 

Try taking a B12 + C + iron combination supplement. 

Let me know if you feel different. 

Nature Hates Me

glitched image of bacteria under microscope

Happy March everyone?

It’s that time when we all reflect upon Julius Caesar’s wild death, palm frond crosses, and… leprechauns.

And I guess we should all take the time to think back on a whole year of stupidity driven global pandemic.

By the way –


Personally, it’s been a weird start to 2021.

I was off like a bolt and then the ground fell away. I’ve propelled myself forward as a ghost since maybe about the middle of January.

It was around mid-January when my body started telling me there was something wrong. But it did not tell me very clearly what was wrong. Most of my symptoms could be written off as any other thing else. I thought I was just extra stressed out from having to meet a deadline.  Silly me. I was extra stressed because I was sick!

When I found myself suffering stomach discomforts that would not go away, I knew I had to see a gastro doc. 
Fluids were sent off to be tested and-
To everyone’s ‘shock’ and ‘horror,’

I was rocking not one but THREE different bacterial infections.


It could have been contaminated air. It could have been contaminated veggies. I am even wondering if that spider bite on my knee from last year wasn’t as clean as I hoped. I will always be wondering at this point.

My body managed itself kinda OK with three infections. 
Not once did I spike a fever.

It wasn’t until I started taking prescribed antibiotics that I began to feel like complete and utter garbage town. Some more of the harder symptoms hit me then. Fire stomach in the middle of the night is one thing, but the all day zombie fatigueis another.
Besides zombie fatigue the shopping list of hellish symptoms has been like this:

  • night sweats
  • body aches
  • swollen joints
  • weakness
  • sore neck/swollen glands
  • random back pains
  • headaches 
  • memory lapses
  • weight loss
  • panic attacks
  • mood swings
  • brain fog
  • depression
  • clumsiness
  • arthritis

My immune system was so occupied that I didn’t just get a tiny cold sore. Oh, no. That would be far too unpretentious! That wouldn’t be nearly as dramatic as, say, flowering a wart- on MY FACE.
Why do I have a wart on my face? What year is this? Why am I turning into The Wicked Witch Of The South West™ over here? Oh- yeah- never mind. Nature hates me.

Fortunately, I had the wart removed and my follow-up blood test had shown improvement.
So things are looking up then?
Who can say?

There is one thing I know for certain: I am not running out the door any time soon to get a covid vaccine.

I’ve been having more good hours than bad hours. (I have yet to have a whole good day.) The herbal supplements must be paying off, I guess. I have not yet been put on another round of antibiotics yet.

There are moments when I forget that I am fighting off bacterial invaders, and then a twinge in the guts, or an ice pick feeling in my skull will remind me that I am hardly in charge of my life.  My tiny overlords don’t make their occupation fun. 

My hands have been constantly swollen for days now. I have a hard time holding small things and opening jars. It’s frustrating.

All of this is frustrating. To feel the the quality of my life diminish even further in such minute, mediocre ways… I… can’t… I’m having a hard time. In all honesty, I am depressed af.

So, here’s to a happier April!

Because living in the moment is flapdoodle!

glitched image of bacteria under microscope