Sin El Niño Jesús

{no party?}

This year there was no Feast of the Three Kings party en la casa. Not really.
There was a cake; oh, certainly there was a rosca. The night before Jan 6th, Hugo and I picked one up, freshly made, from El Molino in Tijuana. The check out line went around the store. It was incredible to see an armed security guard at a bakery- as if a cake riot could break out any moment. As if we are in such desperate times… Hm… Well, once our rosca was selected and paid for, we ceremoniously walked it through the streets to the taxi stand. After the ride to Rosarito we left it safe and sound on the dining room table.
The next morning, I went off to Spanish class expecting to come home to a late afternoon gathering of family with cake and red wine, but when I got back almost half of the ring was already gone! I was disappointed; yeah, a bit annoyed at being left out. It was not proper. On the other hand, for better or worse, I did not cut a piece with a Jesus figurine inside it! For whatever that means…
(I am certainly not buying anyone tamales!)
I had wanted to believe that finding the figurine in the cake was however you interpreted it. They always claim that it is a good thing. It’s supposed to just mean that you host a party; and that is taken as either a tedious obligation or another excuse to party with friends. I wanted to give a positive spin on things. I really did. But each time.. I swear, no good came of it. Ever. I have three figurines! Two from last year alone. And guess which year was the worst for me?
If I know anything from fairytales and such, I have a feeling that they always tell you (emphatically even) that it is good fortune to find the figures in the rosca because the reality is exactly the opposite. They use reverse logic so they don’t even bring the evil upon themselves, by talking negatively about the finding of the figurine.
Maybe it is just  an evil for outlander gringas. I don’t know, but this year has already been very different than the last and me not finding a figure seems more like good luck.

Well, here we are-

We find ourselves into the next Gregorian year. How is it for you so far? I feel a new energy around me these days. January, though Janus is looking both ways, has an actual seeming of freshness for me. Janus can look back all he wants, but I have turned my face from the recent past. Last year was a cursed time. I have very little to say about it that is pleasant. I did not even do a recounting of the events of the year, as so many like to do.  For me, it served no purpose to look back at myself in the throws of depression and anger. All I want to remember is being in Spain. That is a fine enough summation of all that was good in my 2014. 
Since, oh, about October I have been trying to bring myself to write a blog post worth the publishing. I have started several writing attempts then found myself distracted on all fronts and so unmoved by the writing that I do not bother posting.
I mean, I have had many little adventures to relate and I have been presented plenty of ire ridden material to work with, but no captivating words form. I have been taking Spanish class; I have been in protest marches; I was locked in the local gym with Hugo when they closed for the night while we were in the showers and we had to escape through the window (lamest parkour ever); i will be going to Mexico City for the first time at the end of the month; I have a performance coming up next month-
How to write about it all when you are ‘ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrargh?’ How to even post images when in that state? 
I have no answers.
So it’s been quiet, while the endorphins from regular trips to the gym work their magic. 
Hugo and I were smart enough to start our New Years resolution at the end of last year. We got over the hump of creating a new routine and have started the year looking forward to better functioning bodies. Say what you will about gyms, but physically challenging yourself with simple machines does have its benefits. I can’t believe I have gone on so long without working on balancing out my muscles.
Lest we forget- Staying active is great and lifting heaving things is also great too! 
I should add, Natural chemical highs aren’t the cure for everything. Having a purpose and respected place in life is a big boost as well. I have had enough of reexploring ignominious invisibility. Being a ghost is for the dead who have no ambitions. 
I sincerely hope that 2015 brings a positive change of fortune to everyone out there who has been struggling with their own particular devils.
If you have already experienced changes for the better or what ever, leave a comment on this blog or Facebook.